How to help your child be food and weight neutral

• Weight-related teasing
• Bullying and cyber-bullying

• Discrimination and social exclusion

• Physical aggression

• Eating disorders

• Trauma and life-long consequences

Weight is not representative of health. In fact, the association between health and weight is much less significant than we’ve been led to believe. The most comprehensive review pooled data from 26 studies and concluded that “overweight” individuals were living longer than those of ”normal” weight. (McGee 2005), and that the weight associated with the lowest risk of death is considerably above BMI of 25. (Flegal, K, 2013). It is also important to note that weight fluctuates with different stages of life, especially considering that kids gain on average 25 to 30 pounds (6.5 lb/year) in the 4 years of puberty (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2014). However, 2 out of 3 girls and 2 out 5 boys are still fearful of gaining weight (Micali, 2013).

Talking about weight in a neutral way acknowledges the multidimensional indicators of health. It helps to decrease your child’s possible feelings of shame and guilt for not fitting the media’s standard of “perfect body”, as well as appreciating what their bodies can do for them.

• Avoid making comments about other people’s body shapes and sizes (including your own) 
• Talk about your child or your own body in a non judgmental way
  • You’re growing so much! 
  • It looks like you might need some new clothes given that your body is developing
  • Mom’s body is changing because that’s a normal process of aging

• Focus on building a positive body image 
  • Highlight that your child’s body allows them to walk, breath, dance 
• Remove scales and weight loss magazines in view from your home
• Do not discuss weight in relationship to food 
• Foster an environment that celebrates all body shapes and sizes 
• Use exercising as a way to enjoy movement, rather than using it as a punishment

As a parent, you are responsible for choosing and preparing food. Your child, on the other hand, is responsible for determining how much they want to eat. When possible, provide planned and regular access to a wide variety of snacks, fruits and vegetables and desserts. Let them guide their own decisions around food based on what’s available, taste preferences and their own hunger and fullness cues. 

This might seem counterintuitive at first but eventually, your child will come to trust that their body cues represent their body’s needs. In fact, children who are restricted from certain foods, especially high-calorie snacks, will tend to eat and binge more on them compared to those who are given frequent access to them (Matheson, 2012). 

Ultimately, avoid labelling food as “good” or “bad” as children can tend to internalize these words and then feel shame, guilt or pride when eating them. The following terms are to ban from your vocabulary: Good, Bad, Unhealthy, Clean, Right, Wrong, Allowed, Forbidden, Safe, Addictive, Guilt-free, Junk.

• Highlight food’s traits and benefits beyond their numerical units or measures (calories, grams, cups)
  • Eating snacks gives you energy throughout the day!
  • Having a colorful plate allows you to grow !

• Include a wide variety of food at meals and snacks, including desserts and fun foods !

• Call/name foods by their name 
  • “Treat”, “cheat meal” → a chocolate bar, a burger and fries 
• Practice mindful eating at meal time; explore the taste, texture, mouthfeel of food
• Include non-food related awards; watch a movie, go for a nice walk, bonding time with your child
• Allow your child to eat foods presented in the order they prefer